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Sample Pages

“Over the Hill… Bearly…”

was created especially for 

Peter Parker of Atlanta. GA

at the age of 50

Happy Birthday from,

Your Family

July 4, 2006

     It was the beginning of another day ... like any other ... except that Peter Parker of Atlanta, GA was having a birthday today. 

     He would be 40 ...  Hey ...  Just "Bearly Over the Hill," ... right? 

     The following pages will explain ......

     Just because Peter can't sleep until noon like He used to doesn't mean He is "Over the Hill". 

     Actually, Peter can "Bearly" sleep past dawn ... 

     What does it matter? .....

     ... Since breakfast just comes that much sooner for Peter. 

     He eats bran and prunes and takes "Ex-Lax," anything that will help him to "get going". 

     Does this mean He could be "Over the Hill?" ...  Maybe, but just "Bearly".

     Getting dressed for the day is no problem for Peter since He doesn't care about styles or trends in clothes ...  being "Bearly Over the Hill" means dressing for himself.  In other words, being comfortable.

     By the way, Peter "Bearly" has that "Loving Feeling" anymore ... even though He thinks about it a lot of the time ...  because he is "Bearly Over the Hill",  Peter can't remember why ... 

     ... And sometimes being "Bearly Over the Hill" means you don't know if you are coming or going!

     Being "Bearly Over the Hill" for Peter means the bathroom scale MUST be broken! 

     It is always reading the incorrect weight, since he has been on every diet ever invented in addition to exercising at least once a month!

    One of the biggest problems Peter has being "Bearly Over the Hill" is when He deliberately goes into a room and then forgets what He went there for ...

     Being "Bearly Over the Hill" for Peter means someone is always moving the steering wheel too close ... and for some reason Billy hesitates before riding in the car while Peter is driving.

     When someone like Peter becomes "Bearly Over the Hill," celebrating could be dangerous .... It's important to call the Fire Department first, before lighting the candles on the cake ...

     His friend, Billy, is very careful about asking Peter how many candles there will be  ...

     Unfortunately, reaching that "Over the Hill ... Bearly" stage means the eyeballs become shorter ...

     Peter wishes His arms could become longer ... or at least newspaper print could be larger ...

     Peter knows He must be "Over the Hill...Bearly" since many words don't make any sense anymore ... 

     Especially when trying to communicate with a MUCH younger person ... like anyone under 20!

     Television and radio are two new problems that exist since Peter became "Bearly Over the Hill" ... 

     His friend Billy says His TV is too loud and he can't believe what the kids today are listening to ...  Is it really called music???

     Bathroom breaks seem more frequent now that Peter is just "Bearly Over the Hill". 

     Especially during the night ... Peter can't remember the last time He slept through the night without being awakened by an urgent call.

     Another problem Peter has since becoming "Over the Hill ... Bearly" is that objects seem to fall into another dimension. 

     He always puts things where they would never get lost ...   However, when He returns for the item, it has mysteriously disappeared! 

     As much as Peter hates to admit it ... He is more than "Bearly Over the Hill". 

     But don't worry, Peter can always get even with a friend like Billy who gives him gifts like this book ... who more than likely is also ... "Over the Hill ... Bearly."

    Welcome to the Club!

    Just grin and "Bear" it.