Over the Hill ... Bearly
Rip-roaring good fun for "mid lifers!"
When you're over the hill "bearly," you're a furry teddy bear who's eyesight is dwindling, who has trouble remembering, who can "bearly" sleep past dawn, you are unable to communicate with younger people, bathroom breaks are much more frequent and a whole lot more!
Midlife Can Be Fun - A Unique Personalized Gag Gift for Someone Special.
Hard cover, 6 3/4" by 8 1/4", 36 pages. $15.95 with Free Shipping.
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Over The Hill Bearly - $15.95
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Personalized parts are highlighted in yellow. Bathroom breaks seem more frequent now that Bill is just "Bearly Over the Hill". Especially during the night ... Bill can't remember the last time he slept through the night without being awakened by an urgent call. |
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#C012 - Over the Hill BearlyRead entire text of story: Return to order form. Personalized parts are in RED. Over The Hill Bearly (Complete Story)
“Over the Hill… Bearly…”
was created especially for
Peter Parker of Atlanta, GA
at the age of
50
Happy Birthday from,
Your Family
November 1, 2012
It was the beginning of
another day ... like any other ... except that Peter Parker of Atlanta, GA was having a
birthday today.
He would be
50 ... Hey ... Just "Bearly Over the Hill," ... right?
The following pages will
explain ......
Just because
Peter can't sleep until noon like
he used to doesn't mean he is "Over the Hill".
Actually,
Peter can "Bearly" sleep past dawn ...
What does it matter?
...
Since breakfast just comes
that much sooner for Peter.
He eats bran and prunes and takes "Ex-Lax," anything that will help
him to "get going".
Does this mean
he could be "Over the Hill?"
... Maybe, but just "Bearly".
Getting dressed for the
day is no problem for Peter since
he doesn't care about styles or trends in
clothes ... being "Bearly Over the Hill" means dressing for
himself. In other words, being comfortable.
By the way,
Peter "Bearly" has that "Loving Feeling" anymore
... even though he thinks about it a lot of the
time ... because he is "Bearly Over the Hill", Peter can't remember why
...
... And sometimes being "Bearly
Over the Hill" means you don't know if you are coming or going!
Being "Bearly Over the
Hill" for Peter means the bathroom scale MUST be
broken!
It is always reading the
incorrect weight, since he has been on every
diet ever invented in addition to exercising at least once a month!
One of the biggest
problems Peter has being "Bearly Over the Hill"
is when he deliberately goes into a room and
then forgets what he went there for ...
Being "Bearly Over the
Hill" for Peter means someone is always moving
the steering wheel too close ... and for some reason Billy hesitates before riding in the car while
Peter is driving.
When someone like
Peter becomes "Bearly Over the Hill," celebrating
could be dangerous .... It's important to call the Fire Department first, before
lighting the candles on the cake ...
His friend, Billy, is very careful about
asking Peter how many candles there will be ...
Unfortunately, reaching
that "Over the Hill ... Bearly" stage means the eyeballs become shorter
...
Peter wishes his arms could become longer
... or at least newspaper print could be larger ...
Peter knows he must be "Over the Hill...Bearly"
since many words don't make any sense anymore ...
Especially when trying
to communicate with a MUCH younger person ... like anyone under 20!
Television and radio are
two new problems that exist since Peter became "Bearly
Over the Hill" ...
His friend Billy says
his TV is too loud and he can't believe what the kids today are listening to
... Is it really
called music???
Bathroom breaks seem
more frequent now that Peter is just "Bearly Over
the Hill".
Especially
during the night ... Peter can't remember the last time
he slept through the night without being
awakened by an urgent call.
Another problem
Peter has since becoming "Over the Hill ... Bearly" is that objects seem to fall into another dimension.
He always puts things where they would never get lost ... However, when he returns for the item, it has mysteriously disappeared!
Could it be the Twilight Zone? Do-Do-Do-Do... Do-Do-Do-Do...... As much as
Peter hates to admit it ...
he is more than "Bearly Over the Hill".
But don't worry,
Peter can always get even with a friend like
Billy who gives him
gifts like this book ... who more than likely is also ... "Over the Hill ... Bearly."
Welcome to the
Club!
Just grin and
"Bear" it.
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